What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
