I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
sarcasm needs its own font
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
