No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize