Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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