Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
