Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
