You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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