I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
