I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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