Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
i out mim tonsoeep
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