She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
