Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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