you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I faked an abortion last night.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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