discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
