I wish they made helmets for livers.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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