im drinking this country out of the recession.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
