Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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