my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Alive.
So much puke
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
