I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
