I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
