So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
