hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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