hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
