What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
