i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
