Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
