you guys were way drunker than both of me
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
