Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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