My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
