Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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