4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
