1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
