Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
