im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize