so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The feeling are messing with the penis
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
