Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
