Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
