I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
