does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Mom said you looked used
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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