Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
