I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
