nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize