Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
