i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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