dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
