i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize