Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
