Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
