I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize