I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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