Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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