last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
