the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
