I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
