would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize