we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
