last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
