there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
