singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
