everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
