how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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