Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
