I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
