So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I miss vodka workout Fridays
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
