That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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