I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize