Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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