wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
